Where do I start? Well I suppose I will tell you my age, I am 25. I am only 25 and feel like and 80 yr. old must feel in the morning (all day, everyday of my life).
I have gained 65bs in 5 1/2 years most of which was in the first two years after my daughter was born in 2005. In September of 2005 I weighed 175 now I weigh 240, I am also 5'7". I don't over eat or do things any differently since 2005. Also, I didn't gain any weight in my pregnancy. I carry the load of my weight in my stomach, back, and breasts.
I have a terrible feeling bony hump on the back of my lower neck. It 's very painful and pops and cracks over 100 times a day! It seems to cause me headaches almost daily. I have widespread pain all over my body, epsecially when touched, mostly in the lower back, ribs, shoulders. My neck is stiff all day long, the only relief (if you can call it that) is popping it. That "relief" lasts until the next series of pops I have to do minutes later.
I have a red rash (flushing) on my cheeks and across my nose. Acne on my shoulders and back. Sometimes get zits on my lower jawline, cheek, and chest. I have mood swings, irritability, anxiety, and I get frustrated easily. (I would say, about 2 years ago I was not like that.) I am awake almost all night into the early morning and I want to sleep almost all day. I seem to bump into things a lot more, and often scrap door frames with arms.
I have noticed stuttering lately. Seems as though my brain is working much faster than my mouth. Just noticed this more in the last 2-3 months. Been having hot flashes regularly. Never feel well rested. Have started snoring in the past year (my fiance told me that) I have facial hair on my jawline that is fine and light in color but there is a lot of it. I also have hair on my nipples, which is so weird. I have noticed dark, thicker chin hair popping up.
Darkening of skin between my upper thighs, under breasts, arm pits, back of neck (Acanthosis nigricans) I also have multiple skin tags on my armpits. Small flat red type rashes on both of my upper arms (I've seen this in obese people before) My hair has been getting very greasy, as well as my face and inside my ears. Skin seems to have thinned on upper left thigh and feels as though losing muscle mass in that area. Noticed that where the muscle mass seems to decreasing the skin has a bumpy dry texture to it. Feels as though I have lost quite a bit of mass!
I almost cannot stand to be touched by anyone! It almost hurts to be even touched or just knowing someone is about to touch me irritates me! (Never used to care if someone touched me, hugged me) Increased muscle tension in my calfs on both legs. Have a hard time swallowing and tounge is always a milky color and slimy no matter what I do. Clenching teeth unintentionally, seems like I am doing this all the time. My heart races all the time and sometimes pulpitations.
I cannot handle stress well at all. Before something stresses me out I feel as thought I am already on edge and I cant seem to handle anything stressful anymore. I basically just blow up with frustration even at the little things. Hard to bend even slightly over for even a short amount of time, back feels very stiff and painful in slight bending position. When I look at all these things I cannot believe I can even function everyday. I cannot believe I have to feel like this at age 25. It makes me depressed and very sad.
I finally said enough! I made an appointment with a reg physician. I told her somethings but I should have told her more, I was really overwhelmed with her lack of caring and intimidation ( I get intimidated by "important" figures) She seemed to not really get to the root of my problem. She ordered a bunch of blood work. At least 13 tests to date. The first round of 10 came back. She told me my ACTH levels are high and without a blink of her eye diagnosed me with Hypothryodism and told me she is referring me to an endocrinologist. She automatically put me on 0.025 mg of synthroid without even knowing the other stuff I am expieriencing. Seems as though she just wanted to slap a label on me quick! The synthroid makes me sick and super tired. I DONT NOT BELIEVE this hypothyroidism mumbo jumbo. I have symptoms that mymic it, but I have the hump on my neck and the various other things that point to CUSHINGS! She told me we need to reset my cortisol ( I think) She also ordered an xray of my neck (with which I have sooooo many problems) she said they think I have these problems because of neck spasms. I told her I don't have any. She didn't say anything else about my neck and dropped the topic. Oh, she also prescribed me and anti-inflammitory - which I have not taken!
At this point I feel hopeless already. I feel as though in my small town, the endo won't have any clue what to do with me. I bet anything he will dismiss me with being overweight, depressed yadda yadda....I'm not sure what to do if that happens. With my insurance they have to refer me to another endo, if they don't, I feel like I'm toast. I want to be the best advocate for my health I can be, but it's hard when I am already feeling hopeless before I even see an endo! I am scared for my health and scared that I will not have a happy, healthy life.
I want to be the best mom I can be and see my kids grow up. Somedays I feel like crawling in a hole and dying. I pray to God that someone will hear my cries and see that I am not okay and that I am sick. I hope these doctors will help me! I am not crazy. I am not a hypochondriac. I am very smart, and know that something is wrong. I hope they will see it too.
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