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It took over two years, but I was finally diagnosed w/ Cushings in Dec. 2009. I had my pituitary tumor removed Feb 2010. Last month(Jan 2012), my endo changed my cortisol in response to my developing Addisons disease. I have had Graves disease since 1993, anosmia since 2003, & now this. I'm getting a little depressed. (DUH).
I can't seem to find a strategy for health; I am changing rx & Drs., but don't feel like I have a future I can look forward to.
I would like to define myself by something other than illnesses, but being sick has warped my sense of self. Some days, suicide seems a reasonable response to what I've been through. I dont have kids, just a VERY patient husband & a lovely little mutt to care for. But there's days I think they'd be better off w/o me.
I am seeking comfort here because my friends have their own problems, & my husband & dog have put up w/ enough.
I dont think depression is an unexpected consequence of my being mutated & disfigured by my various ailments.
I don't know if this site will help me feel better; I was a member of another Cushings site, but I got no useful info or comfort from other people's tales. Just a sense of the blind leading the blind. Misery may love company, but bottom line: we're all still miserable. Being ill sucks & I dont see it getting better.
As Groucho Marx said: I wouldn't want to join any club that would have ME. Thanks for having me.
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Comments
I hear your pain and frustration and know what that's like. You have had a really tough time but please, please, don't act on your suicidal thoughts.
Your husband would not be better off without you! You need to let him know how you're feeling.
Do you have any other family or friends who can help you get through this?
Take care of yourself and please don't give up!
Marg
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